Monday, 13 February 2017

Crazy little thing called love

Love is, in my understanding, one of the most universal of languages. It is something that every creation of God understands. Even your plants respond when you talk to them lovingly everyday. It is the basis of all life, and apart from hope, it is the one thing that really makes the world go round.

And yet, love is often the most misunderstood of all emotions. It is sad, how people are often driven to the edge when their love is not understood. I find it strange, how in the name of man made things like religion, caste, 'border', 'honour', 'sexuality', the purest of emotions dies a cruel death. How is it that people do not see love that is overflowing, brimming, bursting at the seams, waiting for the moment when love will unite. Pure, unadulterated love. How is it that love is called dirty? It is the most natural of all emotions. The first thing that a child experiences when it is held by its mother.

Yes, there are perverts and paedophiles and sociopaths. But that is not love. Those are diseases. Love is not a disease. Love is 'ibadat'. If you are praying everyday, but find it difficult to see love around you flourish, then you are not praying at all. You are only uttering words to satisfy your own ego, your need to appear great by being religious. Religiousness and Godliness are two separate things, but that is a discussion for some other time...

Love is not a disease, but it is crazy for sure. It makes people do weird things. There are those who will cross oceans to be with the one they love. There are those who will put their career on hold. There are those who will leave everyone else to be with the one they love the most. And there are those who will wait their entire lives looking for love. Some of these decisions will be regretted later for sure, once the hormonal surge of love has died down. But still, if you have loved truly, then the regrets will be few.

And love, in its most conspicuous form, the most celebrated form of amorous love, is not the only love around. Amorous love is only a part of a sea of different kinds of love. But it is the most celebrated because it is the basis of procreation. It is biologically important to us, and hence, our systems are hardwired to value it more than anything else. And even though it is emotionally so overpowering, it is only just one form of love.

People often think that if they found their 'soulmate' they would have found all the love they will ever need. But, I find this idea rather naive. A human needs many kinds of love to feel complete. And the absence of one cannot be made up for by the presence of the other. If you have had issues with your parents, your lover will not be able to fill in the void left there. If you are in a bad marriage, your child cannot make up for a bad husband. There are different compartments in your heart. Your child may occupy a large one, but it will not be able fill up the one left empty by your spouse/lover/parent.

But there is one love, above all love, that I personally feel is what keeps us going. It is self-love. A love that makes us love life. A love that keeps us together when everything around us is falling apart. The love you need when you feel abandoned by your parents. The love you need when your lover departs. The love you need when your children have left the abode.The resilience that picks you up after you have fallen down.

So this Valentine's day, try to find some time to love yourself too while you are busy loving everyone else around. There is no one who could have done a better job at being you than what you are. And there is no one who will come to your rescue except yourself when life looks really dark.

And remember, when all else fails, there's always chocolate :)







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